WE ARE STANDING ON THE TRESHOLD
OF A DECEN CONVERSATION
WHEN I CAN HEAR THE DOOR SLAM

543 mots / @raya karstark

The choir had settled down even though the war drums in his heart kept on beating the rhythm of his fears. Elias had little left of his splendour as the doctor left behind him a room full of questions, a man full of doubts. Bitting out the anger, sinking his fangs in the flesh of his own demons, the Koschei was torn between the raw calamity of his love and the sweet warmth of his fury. The door had been left ajar, poor invitation to the kingdom of the dead. In spite of that, the boy wearing the spine of the man put his hand on the door, crossing a bridge he could never uncross. She was there, lying like an angel with broken wings. She was there, but she could not look at him. Raya was left alone in this barren land, this hospital room having no company but the worn-out heart in her hand. Sinking on the chair next to the bed, Elias could not hide the desolation put upon his face, the restlessness settling in his chest. His feelings were an oil spill, Raya was the match and he didn’t have the courage to stay away from that blaze. Reaching for the dying petal of his old lover, she withdrew into the far corner of her bed, spitting between her teeth: « Don’t you dare touch me! » Struck by speechlessness, Elias stared at the broken animal in front of him nothing but void resting heavily in his mouth. He could not argue, he could not think, he could not fight. Looking at the floor, unable to look at the woman rejecting his touch, he laid his forehead on the far end of the bed as his hands were fighting the need they had to touch her. Hold her, grab her, clutch to her as if she was his lifeline. Cause she was. And he was drowning right now, pearls of sea shattering at his feet. « What am I supposed to do then? Leave? » Straightening his spine like a soldier on the battleground, Elias bore his eyes into Raya’s as if she was fighting back. As if she had the strength to push him out of there when she could not even stand. « Touching me means you’ll get sick. Have you not listen to the doctor, the nurse, everyone?! » His smile was a half-moon, too damage to shine but trying to get through the dark veil of his doubts. His eyes were wet, his hair seemed unkempt as his collar was dishevelled. Elias was undone. Unravelled by the withering woman drowning in this hospital bed. Despite all of that, the beard gnawing his cheeks, the tears eroding his gaze, his voice was low but steady. A slow whisper that would not fade away. « I knew there was no saving me the day I fell in love with you. Have you not paid attention? You’re not getting rid of me. » Reaching for the girl, he stopped short of her arm, basking in the heavy silence covering them. There were miles keeping them away from each other. There were promises to keep. And miles to go before they sleep. And miles to go before they sleep.